Where I've met women

Be forewarned that this post will only be interesting to statistics geeks (like me, I guess) except for the last 2 paragraphs. Most of you may want to skip to the last 2 paragraphs now.

Just to satisfy my curiosity, I did the research to find out where I’ve met most of the women I’ve been interested in and spent time with (whether that time was actually a date or not). Doesn’t everyone have a record of all the women (or men) they’ve spent time with? Maybe not. I do. The results were enlightening.

I met 52% in some kind of a workshop, conference, or group (not counting school). 28% were in one I was attending, and 24% were in one where I was working, either paid or volunteer. I met another 6% in some other aspect of my work, so I met a total of 30% in some work-related endeavor.

It drops way off from there. First, I don’t recall where I met 11% of them. I met 11% of them through personal ads (though the percentage would be MUCH higher if I counted all the women I went out with once and wasn’t interested in after our first in-person meeting and EXTREMELY MUCH higher if I counted all the women I’ve corresponded with via the internet or talked with on the phone but have never met in person).

I met 6% at church (though one of the women I counted as having met in a workshop I could have also counted as having met at church; it was a workshop at church). Also, some of the conferences where I met women were ones related to church.

Others: 4% were friends of friends. All the women I met at parties could also have been classified as friends of friends. I met 3% at parties. That would make friends of friends be 7%. I met 3% by living in the same neighborhood. I met 3% at school. This figure is low because I was in a committed relationship so much of the time I was in school. And the last 2% I met at their work.

So, from that, where does it look like I should be focusing my attention?

Digging into it a bit deeper, though, I decided to figure the statistics for just the women I’ve loved. Those are interesting, too.

I met 45% of the women I’ve loved in some kind of a workshop, conference, or group (not counting school). 18% were in one I was attending, and 27% were in one where I was working, either paid or volunteer.

I met 14% in my neighborhood. Isn’t that interesting? I didn’t meet many women that way, but I was more likely to fall in love with them when I did. I did fall in love with 75% of the women I met that way who I was interested in.

I met 9% at parties (or as friends of friends), 9% at church (another 9%, for a total of 18%, came from church-related workshops and conferences), and 9% in school (1 each in 2 different graduate schools).

And finally, I met 5% each as friends of friends (total of 14% if we count in the ones I met at parties), non-workshop/conference work (total of 32% if we count all work), and through personal ads.

Summary of what has worked for me: I’ve had my greatest success meeting women at workshops and conferences, through my work, at church events, and in my neighborhood. The personal ads have brought a lot of women into my life, but haven’t been real productive in terms of ones I actually met and was interested in.

On the other hand, it only takes one, and she could come from anywhere. Despite my apparent lack of success with the personal ads, I have met some friends that way, and I have had one significant love relationship that started that way. So maybe none of these statistics really make any difference at all.

Michael
consciousheart@earthlink.net